digging up the roots of gender-based violence

still here

by Cristy C, who still has a terrific sense of humor

content notes for rape, violence and foul language

“And guess what, knuckleheads? I’ve already been raped. AND I’M STILL FUCKING HERE. So your rape wishes are as pointless as they are cruel.” @Shakestweetz (Melissa McEwan).  Used with permission.

My post from the other day about Daniel Tosh encouraging members of his audience to rape a woman at his show for laughs got a lot of attention.  Exponentially more attention than anything else on UpRoot.  The Huffington Post linked to it on their article about “Toshgate”, which certainly amped up our traffic.

As part of this attention, I received a comment on the blog that stated, “I hope you get raped.”  And that was just the first comment from this person, who left several more hateful comments.  This blog is moderated, and has a specific commenting policy, so his comments were never published.  But we have them saved. One of my co-workers researched his IP address and he was sending these threats to me from his employer’s offices.  We are working to find contact information so that we can let his employer know that this happened.  I am sure they don’t want their employees sending rape threats on company time.  Or at all, really.

Another blogger linked to my post and said, “Someone needs to rape a sense of humor into that c*nt.”

My personal email address was shut down after repeated hacking attempts from anonymous far-flung IP addresses. My personal Twitter was also shut down, for similar reasons.

Daniel Tosh tried to make joke out of rape, and when someone protested, he shut her down with a threat of rape, which was not a joke but actual violence.  When I, as well as other feminist bloggers, spoke up in support of this woman, we were threatened with rape to shut us down.  It is ironic (and not in the cute hipster irony, but in the real deal kind), that the complaint many of Tosh’s supporters are making is that we are trampling on his creative process or freedom of expression by expecting him to be a decent human being.  And they are using violent and cruel rape rhetoric to try to get us to shut up.  We can’t use our freedom of speech to say, “What Daniel Tosh said crossed the line, and here’s why” but he, and his supporters, can use their freedom of speech to annihilate our humanity.  IRONY!

This is rape culture in such an obvious example that it cannot be denied-in fact, I have been asked if it the blog and the rape threats can be used in a sociology class to explain rape culture. Of course, there will be deniers, the usual suspects, who will re-up the violent and threatening words.

I need you to bear witness to this.  Please do not ignore that this happens in my life, in the lives of thousands of women every day.  The threat of rape is real when we live in a rape culture.

I am still here.  In spite of the rape threats, I am not shutting up. These anonymous men, and their Rat King Daniel Tosh, will not shut me down.  Their hatefulness strengthens my feminist will.

I have received far more support in the last few days than anything else.  I’ve had kindness and respect sent my way from all over the world, and I could never express enough gratitude to all of those folks.  People whom I hold in high esteem sent me words of encouragement, and that superseded all of the hate.  I am fortunate to have had so many reminders of how much I matter when there are menacing punks who want to tell me I don’t.

I am still here, and I still matter.  Your words were cruel, but also undeniably pointless.

Check out some more great writing on Toshgate at Shakesville.

41 responses to “still here

  1. Terri Eagen-Torkko July 13, 2012 at 2:26 pm

    Hell. Yes.

  2. bee July 13, 2012 at 2:50 pm

    Here with you.

  3. Ellen July 13, 2012 at 3:19 pm

    Thank you for the update! Behind you 100%

  4. Ben Atherton-Zeman July 13, 2012 at 3:20 pm

    “Your hatefulness strengthens my feminist will” could be an awesome T-shirt!

  5. C.Mo July 13, 2012 at 3:21 pm

    Cristy, I love your writing as well as the posts by everyone else on your team. You articulate what others can’t say and you’re extremely brave and strong. You probably don’t need anyone to tell you this, but I wanted to. Keep up the awesomeness.

  6. Kevin Wolf July 13, 2012 at 3:24 pm

    Another supporter here.

  7. Bb July 13, 2012 at 3:30 pm

    wowser…. hadn’t realized all the horrid backlash you and others were getting…. count this as one more voice of support…. stay strong, this too will pass and the world will be better for your having spoken….. as a survivor of sexual violence, I thank you for speaking out

  8. Annafel July 13, 2012 at 3:33 pm

    Thank you for your strength and determination. I’m standing with you.

  9. Peter July 13, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    Don’t stop. Thank you for speaking out.

  10. lemonbeagle July 13, 2012 at 3:45 pm

    Here from Shakesville.

    Thank you for writing this.

  11. jeanne July 13, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    I’m sorry you’ve gotten hateful comments. They don’t surprise me anymore; that in itself is pretty appalling.

    I’m with you.

  12. ripanubis July 13, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    This whole Toshgate affair opened my eyes. I had now Idea how deep rape culture is an integral part of our society and it makes me sick… Thank you for writing all this

  13. SaturdaySun July 13, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    Also here with you, via Shakesville. Thank you for writing.

  14. triggerhappyvampire July 13, 2012 at 4:17 pm

    *waves pompoms* YOU ROCK!

  15. Stacy Moore July 13, 2012 at 4:33 pm

    [content note: threats]


    I can’t believe how dense these people are. “Rape culture doesn’t exist are I’ll rape you to prove it.” WTF.

  16. Stacy Moore July 13, 2012 at 4:33 pm

    …”are” should be “and,” obvs. Sorry.

  17. allochthon July 13, 2012 at 4:41 pm

    Thanks for your strength and courage.

  18. Mara July 13, 2012 at 7:23 pm

    As a rape survivor (stranger to stranger) at age 17, I don’t find any jokes about sexual violence to be funny, I’m so sorry that, in speaking your mind, that you were threatened and vilified. Please keep speaking up, we need you.

    • John B. July 17, 2012 at 8:49 am

      Who are the women in Daniel Tosh’s life and why have they yet to set him straight?

      • Leah T. July 17, 2012 at 10:18 am

        It’s highly likely that the women in his life have tried to hold him accountable at some point, but if he’s not willing to listen and take responsibility for his words, then it probably didn’t do much good. Not to mention it’s not the responsibility of the women in his life to call him out and “set him straight”. Who are the men in his life and why haven’t they set him straight yet?

  19. YankeeFeminist July 13, 2012 at 10:40 pm

    I thank you on behalf of my daughter and my sister who are both survivors, and behalf if myself and the rest of us who have, thus far, been lucky enough not to be victims.

  20. BirdyAnn July 13, 2012 at 11:25 pm

    Also here via Shakesville, with So.Much.Damn. respect for what you, Melissa and other brave people are having to deal with.

  21. Jess July 13, 2012 at 11:37 pm

    Here here

  22. Alison July 14, 2012 at 12:26 am

    You have my full support,though from far away. I wish you tenacity and volume.

  23. Donna July 14, 2012 at 12:38 am

    Cristy, you have my full support.

  24. Linda Bean July 14, 2012 at 2:46 am

    I was sort of rape threatened on someone’s facebook post. The guy “wished” all sorts of bad things to happen to me, and named them. He wasn’t trying to be funny, just mean. It really freaked me out and I spent a month constantly looking over my shoulder.

    I do not find anything at all amusing about rape, and I wonder if a “comic” who would use it as humor find it all funny if his mom, or sister, or wife, or daughter, or son were raped.

    Please continue to be brave and speak out. Sending you positive energy to surround yourself with.

  25. Laura Wyler July 14, 2012 at 10:46 am

    Also here thanks to Shakesville. Adding my voice in support and solidarity and in admiration of your courage and perseverance.

  26. meadowgirl July 14, 2012 at 11:23 am

    fantastic blog. thank you for putting yourself out there & taking a lot of bad shit.

  27. MC July 14, 2012 at 3:05 pm

    Thank you for speaking out.

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  29. GirlWithTheCane July 16, 2012 at 5:46 am

    Here, via Shakesville. Thank you for speaking up.

  30. travelingroads July 16, 2012 at 12:48 pm

    Well said, and I am glad you were able to put into words what I struggled to explain on Daily Beast in the comments section.

    Stay strong.

  31. napalmnacey July 17, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    You’re incredible for saying something, and incredible for fighting on. I’m so glad there are people like you on this Earth. <3

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